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During the test drive, he had me stick to residential Master Of My Own Destiny And Shit Shirt near the dealership. Twenty-five MPH was the top speed I was able to hit. I wanted to get it out on the highway, but he seemed insistent on getting back to the dealership quickly to talk terms. At the dealership, I attempted to haggle on the price a bit. He entertained me some by giving me the old, “Let me talk to my manager,” as he stepped into another room for less than two minutes. He came back and said, “Take it or leave it.” Not being an experienced negotiator at all, I practiced what a buddy coached me to say.
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Well then, I’m going to drive up the road to another Master Of My Own Destiny And Shit Shirt and see what they have to offer. He quickly countered, “This Subaru just came in here yesterday. They are the most popular used vehicles we sell. I can’t guarantee you that if you leave here right now, that it’ll still be here when you get back. He shot me a shark-toothed grin that I still remember distinctly to this day as he said, “And it’s ‘As-Is.’ You drive it off the lot, it’s yours.